I should say something
You probably recognise this: you walk away from a long and exhausting meeting thinking, “I really should say something about how disorganised that was!”
At the same time, you realise you thought the same thing after the previous meeting. Now another week has passed and another hour has been wasted. You actually knew it already when you received the meeting invite. And next week, everyone will be there again.
You pack up after a useful but tough presentation. After all these years, you should be better at this, shouldn’t you?
The difficult questions kept coming, and there was no sign of enthusiasm from the audience. You’d really like to be better at these kinds of presentations. Your teammate Mo seems so much smoother and more confident.
Imagine if every time you think “I should…”, you jot it down to make a concrete decision about it later.
You don’t give it another thought. Later, you’ll decide whether to act on the “I should” or not. Simple as that.
All sorts of stuff
Most of us could easily make a long list of things we’d like to start doing or get better at.
Whether it’s about your professional skills, creative development, health, relationships, or finances; there’s always room for improvement. Even if you read a book a month, you might think you should write one yourself someday.
Some thoughts are harder to shake.
Certain doubts, hesitations, or vague feelings can pop up at the strangest times and occupy your mind. If you need to send out a meeting agenda, you put it on your task list and it’s done. But if you need to give difficult feedback about the chairperson’s performance, that can linger. Will you do it? How will you do it? How will it be received?
To do or not to do
- One downside of “I should…” thoughts is that they contain an idea for action but also express that you’re not doing anything about it. Instead of saying “I’m going to give feedback about the meeting” or “I’m not going to give feedback,” you’re stuck in the middle with “I should really give feedback.”
- Thoughts and ideas that might be useful are called “stuff” in GTD (Getting Things Done). You capture them to stop them from swirling around in your head. Do the same with “I should…” thoughts. Write them down in your notebook or email them to yourself so you can let go of them for now and decide later. Thinking about them further isn’t helpful right now. That comes later.
- When you process your “stuff,” decide whether to turn the “I should…” thought into an action or not. If you make it an action, you’ll actually do what you think you should do. If you decide not to act on it, you let the thought go. If it comes back, remind yourself that you’ve already made a decision.
- When deciding whether to act, you can only choose “yes” or “no.” If you’re unsure, ask yourself whether you need more time or more information. If you need more time, schedule the “I should…” thought for, say, a week from now and decide then. If you need more information, figure out who has it or where to find it. Make finding that information an action, like “chat with Fred about whether to give feedback on the meeting.”
- One extra option: no action now, and I’ll see later if I change my mind. You might decide that now isn’t the right time to act on your “I should…” thought. Maybe you’re busy with new tasks, so it’s not the moment to learn new skills. That limitation is temporary, so by noting the idea on your Later/Maybe list, you can revisit it when things calm down. In short, Later/Maybe is the list for items you’re not acting on now but want to review periodically.
Park “I should…” thoughts and decide later. Act on them or let them go. Everything in between drains your energy.
